Behind Closed Doors
by BudhaBeads
Summary: Noises behind Edward and Bella's bedroom has Emmett's mind rolling down the gutter. Are Bella and Edward really as innocent as they seem? What exactly happens behind closed doors? Rated M. One-shot.


Yo people! This is just a random one-shot that I decided to do. The idea came to me while I was playing badminton. Don't ask why these thoughts came to my head at that certain time. I'm just weird.

I hope you like it! Emmett in all his goofiness, Edward is all his sexiness and Bella in all her human-ness.

Vampires rock!--I hope you know that.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Read&Review!!

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**EmPOV**

For a vampire; I've never felt so physically exhausted in my life. Fighting off an army of newborns and James _plus _Victoria seemed like a cake walk compared to what I've just been through.

Rosalie had _asked _me, ever so politely, to help her out in the garage. She planned on tuning up her BMW and a few other cars. Apparently they were "out of shape"—can cars even look fat? And because I am such a loving and supportive husband, I agreed without so much as a complaint. I mean seriously, who would turn down watching someone as hot as Rose getting dirty and greasy while fixing _cars_. It's like any guy's ultimate fantasy, next to the Princess-Leah-gold-bikini, of course.

_Hmmm, I should convince Rose to dress up like that one day. _The grin on my face and my clouded mind almost masked the fact that I was feeling like every muscle in my body had been beaten up with a hammer. Almost.

With super human strength plus my added muscles, what's lifting a couple tons of cars, right?

_Wrong!_

If only it were that easy. From a simple afternoon of living in a fantasy became a nightmare that would plague my mind for all eternity.

Apparently, _Jasper _thought it would be hilarious to mess with Rose's emotions while I helped her out. So instead of me just innocently watching her being her sexy self, I was bombarded with slaps across the face, kicks in the shins and I swear, if my balls weren't made of steel, they would have surely fallen off.

Thank god for my balls of steel.

She violently attacked me every minute for doing something "wrong". How is scratching my nose _wrong?! _I mean seriously! According to her, with her enhanced vampire hearing, she could hear my nails scratch loudly against my skin. What the hell, man?!

So I had to endure _5 hours _of being beaten up, yelled at and lifting 2 tons cars. I was so frustrated at my exhaustion that when I grabbed the banister to head up the stairs, I accidentally crushed it. A piece broke apart from the rest and crumbled next to my feet.

_Greeeaaattt…now Esme's gonna have my head!_

I couldn't handle anymore women PMS-ing on me! I stopped up the steps but careful not to destroy anything else.

I walked down the hallway; passing doors and rooms. Just I passed Edward and Bella's room I heard mumblings.

"Like this, Edward?" Bella murmured.

"Yeah, Bella…just like that." _Whoa whoa! Did he just moan?!_

"Argh, I can't do it! I suck at this!" she groaned in frustration.

"Yes you can, love. Just wrap your lips securely around the whole thing."

_HOLY SHIT! _My eyes practically bugged out of their sockets! Was Bella trying to give Little Ed a blowjob?!

"Hang on a minute, do my lips have to be moist?" with that, I stepped closer to their door. This wouldn't classify as porn would it? I mean, I didn't get any action today because of Rose bitching at me.

"Yes, the wetter the better, love. Make sure you fingers are slick enough as well."

"Ok, now what?" she asked curiously

I heard a pause.

"Slip your tongue between the little opening right at the tip." _Whoaa, Eddie's quite the adventurer. _"Don't bite down though, it won't work."

"Now blow, Bella!"

I tried to listen more carefully; I heard the sound of wet skin sliding against wet skin.

"Keep going! God…you're doing amazing!" Edward's voice became slightly higher.

"There's too much in my mouth, Edward. What do I do with it?" Bella grumbled.

"Swallow." _Whoaaa, go Bella!_

"Should I try again?" Bella sounded a little bit hopeful.

"By all means, go for it." _Daaaayummm, Ed. You sure get some A LOT!_

There was a pause now…no noise of any kind. I was curious as to what happened, so I leaned in; pressing my ear against the door.

And then I heard it.

_PPPPHHHEEEEWWWWTTTT! _

What the fuck?!

From my surprise, I put too much force on the door and it broke open. I landed flat first inside their room. When I looked up, I saw Bella's shocked and confused expression. Edward wore a triumphant smirk. But what alerted me was that they were just sitting on Edward's couch, clothes on and everything.

_Huh?_

"Had fun, Emmett?" my brother's smirk grew even wider. _Uhh…_

"What were you guys doing just now?" I hoped my question would make Bella blush like she always does when she got embarrassed. Seeing that blush would answer my question.

But her face remained perfectly normal.

"Edward was teaching me how to whistle with my fingers and I did it!" she bounced up and down excitedly. _Finger…whistling?_

Oh. Woops.

I just stood up and ran out of the room. I didn't want to face the humiliation of having to tell them what I _thought _they were doing.

**BPOV**

Why did Emmett just run away? And was he blushing? No—it couldn't be, vampires are incapable of blushing.

"What just happened, Edward?" I looked up to my gorgeous fiancé utterly confused. He responded with an amused grin.

"Nothing, love. Emmett just thought we were doing something else." He lifted me up to sit on his lap and lightly nuzzled my neck.

"What did he think we were doing?" I couldn't come up with anything else besides what we were actually doing.

"Do you really want to know?" he placed a chaste kiss on my lips.

"Yes." I answered.

He leaned in and grazed my ear with his teeth. I shivered at the feeling.

"He thought…" he trailed off to take my earlobe between his lips and suck gently.

"He thought what?" it came out more like a moan.

"What am I doing to your ear right now, love?" I quirked an eyebrow.

"You're…sucking on it?" I didn't know where this was going.

"And what exactly is there _else _to…_suck._" My neck? My shoulders? Every body part was possible, actually. But he continued, "…on _me."_

I stiffened. On…_him?_ It took me a moment but when it finally hit me, oh, did it _HIT _me.

"WHAT?! HE THOUGHT I WAS GIVING YOU A—….A—" I couldn't even finish the sentence. My eyes went wide as saucers.

"What's wrong, Bella?" he whispered against my cheek; his hand started to move up my thighs to the hem of my shirt.

How could I answer him when he was touching me like that? I couldn't take it anymore, any thoughts of Emmett flew out of my mind and were replaced by thoughts—no _images_ of other things.

He slipped his hand underneath my shirt and slowly trailed upwards. Before he could reach his destination, I spun around, switched positions until I was straddling him around his waist.

I kissed him fiercely and he responded with the same amount of passion. His hands moved around me; feeling every single curve of my body. Mine, on the other hand, dug into his hair and gently scraped his scalp; making him moan loudly.

"Ok…now I _know…_I'm not imagining THAT!"

We both released each other to face Emmett. He looked distraught and confused.

Instead of feeling embarrassed that we were just caught in such a compromising position; we just laughed.

Emmett stopped out of the room mumbling things that sounded like; Stupid Jasper….Rose hitting head…wrench….and seeing things."

Edward spun back to face him.

"Now…where were we?"

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Was it fun? I hope it was. grin

Review! It makes everyone happy!

All the love--BudhaBeads


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